


Party Trick

by Rerin



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Thor (Movies)
Genre: Adventures on the Statesman, Bruce & Hulk Interaction, Gen, I need this in my life, Loki and Bruce (and Hulk) need to be FRIENDS ok, Loki's not evil, Post-Thor: Ragnarok (2017), Sakaar (Marvel), This is a one-shot, Thor (Marvel) is a Good Bro, aka the Ark, nothing to do with Infinity War or Endgame
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-05
Updated: 2019-05-05
Packaged: 2020-02-26 19:52:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18723829
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rerin/pseuds/Rerin
Summary: Bruce once referred to hulking out as his "party trick".  After Ragnarok, aboard the Statesman, Loki's ability to copy that trick comes in handy.This fic assumes the Asgardians were out in space for a while before Thanos showed up.





	Party Trick

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this a long time ago because there weren't enough Loki-and-Bruce friendship fics out there. There still aren't enough of those, to be honest. 
> 
> Many thanks to my awesome friend mayonegg for reading this ages ago and to Szarka for reminding me that other people might like to see Loki & Bruce bonding on the ship, too. :)

PARTY TRICK

Thor hurried to the bridge of the Statesman as soon as he received Heimdall’s summons. Loki, Valkyrie, Bruce, and Korg were already there, huddled around the communications array.

“What is it?” Thor asked in concern, seeing the oddly matching expressions on Heimdall and Loki’s faces.

“A ship. No time to explain—just sit there,” Loki gestured urgently at the captain’s chair, and as soon as Thor sat, an enormous image of a fearsome red-and-purple alien appeared on the viewscreen.

“I am Worb-Bat-Ta of Abo-Tow, Emissary of the Almighty Abtronoc Alliance,” declared the alien, who was seated in the captain’s chair of his own spaceship—a large one, based on the ranks of red-and-purple crew members stationed attentively behind him. Thor, in comparison, appeared alone on the screen, his own crew gathered off to the side and out-of-view of the aliens.

“Oh, hello,” Thor greeted, leaning forward in his seat. In three weeks of space travel, this was the first time they’d established any kind of communication with another craft. “I’m Thor, son of Odin, King of Asgard and God of Thunder.”

“ _God?_ ” scowled the image of Worb-Bat-Ta. “We don’t believe in gods.”

Off to the side, Loki was making a monumental effort to stop himself from dragging his palms down his face. Thor was already ruining this. 

“Oh,” Thor slouched back comfortably. “In that case, never mind that part. I take it you received our, um, our message?”

“Indeed,” said Worb. “You claim to be refugees in need of supplies.”

“Food is running low,” Thor admitted. “And this ship isn’t the fastest, unfortunately.”

“That ship,” said the alien dangerously, “Is stolen.”

Thor sighed, resisting the urge to tense up. “That’s right,” he admitted. “We stole this ship from this horrible evil person called the Grandmaster, on a planet called Sakaar.”

“Sakaar!” the emissary’s eyes went wide, and there was a hushed gasp from the alien crewmembers behind him. “Then you are… you are the runaway slaves!”

“We’re what’s left of Asgard,” Thor corrected. “We’ve lost our home and we--”

“But the runaway slaves are among you?” Worb-Bat-Ta interrupted. “Turn them over to us, and we’ll resupply you for your journey.”

“Hm,” Thor frowned. “I’m afraid that’s not going to work for us. The runaway slaves are our friends, and, I’m technically one of them myself, so.”

“What?” a shocked smile blossomed on the alien emissary’s face. “An escaped slave, now calling himself a king, begging for charity as he sails his master’s stolen vessel across the stars? Ha! Ha ha ha.”

Thor risked a glance around the bridge. Heimdall and Korg and Bruce were looking at him in stoic sympathy, while Loki and Val were fixated on Worb-Bat-Ta, honing knives with their eyes.

Thor met the alien’s laughter with a friendly smile. “That about sums it up,” he said warmly. “Any chance your Alliance is as generous as it is almighty?”

“Generous, oh yes,” answered Worb. “We can be exceedingly generous. Rather than demand the transfer all the slaves to our ship, we will give you the supplies you need in exchange for the transfer of just one.”

“Which one?” Korg wondered quietly from off to the side.

“…I’m afraid I don’t like the sound of that,” Thor admitted to the oversized image of the alien. “But out of curiosity, which one of us do you want?”

“Only the most famous, of course!” exclaimed the emissary. “The one with the largest reward for his capture. The shapeshifter.”

All eyes on the Statesman’s bridge flew to Loki, whose mouth had fallen open on a silent intake of breath.

Thor shook his head. “Sorry, not possible. You can’t have him.”

“Please?” said Worb, quite unexpectedly. “What about just for an hour? An hour of his company. Then we’d transfer him back to you, of course.”

Loki was staring at Thor with the intent of an animal caught in a trap, ready to gnaw through its own leg. Thor looked back up at the screen. “He’s my brother,” he said in a determined voice. “And you’re not getting your hands on him for so much as a second.”

Once again the alien seemed surprised. “Your brother? That monster is your brother?” There was additional chatter from the red-and-purple crew. “And certainly you don’t think we’d attempt to harm him? Would anyone be so foolish?”

The situation seemed to be getting away from Thor, so Loki decided to intervene. He stepped up beside the captain’s chair and faced the screen, hands behind his back. “Hello, Worb-Bat-Ta,” he said cordially. “I’m pleased to hear you mean me no harm.”

The alien gazed back at him, perplexed. “Sorry, who are you?” he asked at last.

“I’m Loki,” Loki announced. “The Grandmaster’s…the shapeshifter.”

Worb turned and muttered a question to someone off-screen.

“Oh, I know him!” spoke up a voice from the background ranks of aliens. “He was on the Commodore channel once— _Commodore Galore_ episode 99—yes, that was it!”

At that, other alien voices chimed in, apparently recognizing Loki after all. Loki bit the inside of his cheek, looking slightly discomfited by the mention of ‘the Commodore channel’. 

“But surely you are not the Champion,” Worb said to Loki. “If there’s a bounty for capturing _you_ , we haven’t heard of it.”

Now all eyes, except for Loki’s, flew to Bruce. Bruce looked vaguely green, which was probably a bad sign. Val took a protective step towards him.

Loki, meanwhile, had gone stone-still. “…It seems there’s been a misunderstanding,” he said after a moment. “You want the Champion, from the Contest of Champions. You want the Hulk.”

The aliens on the screen erupted into enthusiastic cheers, and an amazed smile scrawled across Worb’s purplish face. “You are bold to speak the monster’s name!” he declared. “We would be forever honored to meet him in person.”

“And collect the reward for his capture,” Loki accused.

Worb shook his head. “No, no—we despise slavery. We wanted to rescue the runaways aboard your vessel to ensure they would achieve freedom! And we only mentioned the great reward for the Champion because being such a wanted person makes him even more of a celebrity. Sakaarian shows are our favorite, you see, they are our civilization’s guilty pleasure. We have watched the Contest for centuries, horrified by its barbaric violence and yet also… entertained by it. So in exchange for supplies, we would ask for an hour of the Champion’s presence aboard our vessel.”

Loki narrowed his eyes. “But you called him a shapeshifter. How did you know about that?”

“The most recent episode of _Commodore Galore_ revealed it,” Worb explained. “The Champion, in disguise as a small man called Bruce, leapt from the Commodore and transformed back into himself to fight a beast resembling a woolly Wumflumpa. I’m sure you know, _Commodore Galore_ is known for its shocking reveals, but our critics have been praising this particular episode as the most shocking of all.”

Loki was quiet for a handful of seconds. “All right,” he said at last. “I think this will work.”

Bruce made a half-strangled noise of protest but Loki held out a hand to indicate that he should stay back, and shifted gently into Bruce’s human form.

“Is this who you want?” Loki asked up at the screen, in Bruce’s humble voice.

“It’s him!” cheered random voices in the background. “That’s him, that’s the Champion’s disguise! Just like on the show!”

Loki turned around, and Thor found himself looking, dumbfounded, into a perfect replica of Bruce Banner’s face. The real Bruce, off to the side, was rubbing his forehead with a shaky hand, and both Val and Heimdall seemed ready to catch him if he decided to faint.

“It’s just for an hour,” Loki muttered quietly.

Thor felt an odd welling of something like sympathy. “Yeah, but… a very weird hour,” he said.

Loki’s smile looked bizarrely soft on Bruce’s face. “I’m sure I’ve been through worse,” he remarked. “Just ask episode 99.”

***

Afterwards, the aliens were true to their word and stocked the Statesman with enough food to last for months. And when Loki looked like he wasn’t fully enjoying the celebratory dinner that was both in his honor and at his expense (Korg and Val shared absolutely hilarious renditions of the ‘misunderstanding’ with the assembled crowd), Thor wrapped an arm around his brother and shepherded him back to their room.

They were both surprised to find Bruce waiting for them, his entire being a proclamation of not wanting to intrude.

Thor deferred to Loki on the subject of how much company they were in the mood to entertain, and Loki assured Bruce he was welcome to join them for a drink, away from the good-natured, riotous laughter of the ship’s general population.

And so the three of them settled in with glasses of the Grandmaster’s booze, toasting the generosity of the Almighty Abtronoc Alliance, which no one had even heard of before.

“But seriously…Thanks for doing that,” Bruce said to Loki at last, his face awkwardly earnest. “I mean, thanks for not making _me_ do it.”

“You would have been fine,” Loki assured him. “They were surprisingly respectful, after all. Didn’t try to provoke or harass their hero into showing his true colors—they asked nicely. They just wanted an in-person look at their favorite celebrity.”

“Yeah but I, I am not good at being a celebrity,” Bruce insisted. “I might’ve hulked out just from anxiety. And of course I’m glad they were polite but, like, you didn’t know for sure that they would be, going in. They seemed kind of aggressive at first and it might’ve been a trap. You took a risk. So it still feels like you bailed me out.”

“Well, I suppose,” Loki said carefully. “You’re welcome.” He smiled and raised his drink, quirking an eyebrow. “We shapeshifters have to support each other.”

Bruce gave him a bashful grin. “Yeah, I guess we do,” he said, and then made an odd face. “By the way, did you, um, did you go all the way, like…green?”

Loki blinked as Bruce blushed. “Of course,” he said smoothly, and then his voice became conspiratorial. “Had to give your loyal fans what they wanted, you know how it is.”

“Really?” Thor asked, and his expression was as funny as Bruce’s. “You turned into the Hulk for them?”

Loki looked back and forth between them, a tiny frown creasing his brow. “…I thought that was implicit,” he stated mildly. When both Bruce and Thor continued to look vaguely curious, he added: “…If you’re genuinely interested, I could easily… I mean, if you wanted to see,”

“I’ve never seen you turn into anything that big before,” Thor mused with a shrug. “But you don’t have to, if you don’t want to.”

Bruce’s face acquired a nervous sheen. “I, um, I think I’d actually really like to see that, if you don’t mind,” he admitted, plainly embarrassed. “I know this is kind of weird, but I’ve never gotten to see the Hulk in person, you know, because...”

“Oh,” said Loki, blinking. “Well, in that case, here—” he took a breath, turned green, and grew huge all at once. Thor yelped a laugh as he hurried to get out of the way of his brother’s expanding form.

“Whoa, whoa!” Bruce exclaimed, stumbling backwards, both hands on his head. He swallowed several times, collecting his wits, staring up at the enormous green face that did, after all, resemble his own. His pulse began to pound.

“Loki, wow, that’s awesome,” Thor was beaming, completely impressed. “Perfect likeness!” He patted a giant green shoulder. “And solid, too!”

“That’s because it’s really me,” Loki said, in Hulk’s voice. “Not a projection.”

“Oh my god, the voice,” Bruce gulped weakly. “That’s really his voice?”

“Yes,” said Loki in Hulk’s voice, looking directly at Bruce.

Bruce locked eyes with the Hulk and felt a trembling in all his muscles at once. He barely had time to gasp “ _No_ ,” before he was overtaken by the transformation.

“Uh oh,” Thor muttered, setting down his drink so he could promptly tackle Bruce. “Bruce—Hulk—it’s okay, sun’s going down—”

“NOO!” shouted the Hulk, throwing Thor off him.

Loki, who still looked like Hulk, immediately thought about looking like anything else, anything else that wasn’t himself, or anyone else that Hulk might be inclined to pulverize, and in his split second of hesitation the real Hulk grabbed him by the shoulders. “Fake Hulk!” Hulk growled.

“Hulk, don’t smash,” Thor was saying urgently. “Don’t smash! It’s Loki, he’s on our side, he’s not going to hurt you—it’s just a trick!” 

Hulk’s eyes narrowed, looking his double up and down. “Hulk is Hulk, not Loki,” he muttered, and Loki nodded in wordless agreement. Hulk considered the situation for another moment, and then let Loki go. “…Bad trick,” Hulk grumbled. “Not funny.”

Loki took that opportunity to wilt back into his regular form. “My apologies,” he said to Hulk, regaining his composure.

“Hmm…” Hulk sat down cross-legged on the floor, studying Loki and turning something over in his great pea-colored brain. “Do again,” he said at length.

“Uhh, Hulk, maybe that isn’t a…” Thor attempted to step in, but Loki dismissed his assistance with a look.

“It’s fine,” Loki assured his worried brother, and then tilted his head towards Hulk. “I can look like anyone you want. Who would you like to see?”

Hulk pouted, thinking hard. “Tony,” he decided abruptly.

“Too easy,” Loki smiled, and in a shimmer of greenish-gold, Tony Stark appeared in the room, peering at Hulk over the rims of ridiculous sunglasses. “Hey buddy,” said Loki, in Tony’s most casual voice. “How you been?”

“Little bit creepy, but well done,” Thor deemed.

Hulk’s brow furrowed. “Na—Natasha,” he chose next.

Tony Stark’s eyebrows climbed, but then settled into Natasha’s cool smirk. “Nice to see you, big guy,” drawled Loki’s version of Natasha, which had a little more cleavage showing than Thor remembered.

Hulk reached out with one wondering hand to touch Natasha’s fire-bright hair, and Loki stood still to let him, Natasha’s smile terrifyingly subtle.

Thor cleared his throat. “Am I the only one who thinks this might be getting a little weird, at this point?” he asked, voice high.

“THOR weird!” Hulk accused Thor, scowling.

Thor backed off, shaking his head. “I could give you two a moment alone, if you need to get reacquainted, is all I’m saying.”

“No,” Hulk grumped, and turned back to Natasha. “Hulk want…Banner.” His voice was hesitant, guarded.

Thor had never seen Natasha look that openly surprised, and without a word she shimmered away, replaced by Loki’s impersonation of Bruce Banner.

Hulk had been sitting on the floor, but now he rose to his feet, solemnly examining the human form in front of him, with its olive skin and disheveled hair and wide dark eyes, fearful yet also… hoping.

“Small,” Hulk remarked, voice quiet, and gave Bruce’s chest a little push with his fingertips. Bruce’s body reeled backwards, nearly knocked off his feet. “Weak,” Hulk added.

“Now hold on,” Thor spoke up, unwilling to stand idly by if Hulk intended to shove and bully his brother.

Hulk ignored Thor’s protest and touched Bruce’s face with one finger, dragging down Bruce’s unshaven cheek. “…Old,” Hulk realized, with a soft note of surprise.

“Sad,” Hulk continued, his fingertip not-quite touching Bruce’s lips. Then he pointed at Bruce’s forehead, finger barely brushing the skin. “Smart.”

Loki gave Hulk one of Bruce’s most neutral smiles, the kind which meant _I don’t want this._

Carefully Hulk picked Bruce up with both hands, lifting him off his feet and drawing him in for a closer look. “…Me,” Hulk said, staring into Bruce’s face.

“That’s right, Hulk,” Loki whispered in Bruce’s voice.

Hulk nodded. “Ok,” he said, business-like, and set Bruce down.

“Is that… is that all you wanted to see?” Loki asked, still borrowing Bruce’s voice and expression.

Hulk gave another nod, and so Loki shifted back into himself, sighing in relief. He sent a significant glance at Thor, glad that this particular show was over.

“…Thanks,” Hulk grunted, and looked just the slightest bit sheepish. “Was… good trick.”

“You’re welcome,” Loki replied. “Glad you liked it.”

Thor clapped his brother on the shoulder, beaming once again. “You know, that trick is what earned us a full resupply of food today,” Thor informed the Hulk, in case he’d been unaware of those events from earlier.

“Food for Hulk?” Hulk asked, perking up.

“Food for everybody. As much as you want,” Thor said happily. “There’s actually still a party going on in the hold, if you’re hungry now.”

“Yes,” Hulk said, and looked back at Loki, struggling to find the right words. “Good job, Loki,” he said at last, and turned for the door.

“Oh Hulk?” Loki called to him, as it became clear he was leaving. “If you go down to the party, and you want to have a little fun… tell people you’re me.”

Hulk instantly grinned, but Thor looked distressed. “Are you sure that’s…”

“As long as you don’t hurt anyone,” Loki advised the Hulk, “I’m sure at least Valkyrie and Korg will play along—and if you need Banner to vouch for you, well,” he smiled.

It took Hulk a few seconds, but then understanding dawned. “Haha,” he chuckled. “If Hulk need Banner, Loki can be Banner.”

“Anytime,” Loki promised warmly.

Hulk looked for all the world like he’d been handed a precious gift. He locked eyes with Loki for a long, wholesome moment, glowing with the joy of a shared secret. Then he concentrated, trying to remember something. “Shape, er, shape-shiffers…”

“Shapeshifters,” Loki provided.

“Support ‘chother,” Hulk recalled with conviction, and headed off for the party.

The door closed behind him, and Thor and Loki traded glances.

“…You realize he remembered that word for word from what I said to Banner,” Loki commented, eyebrow raised. “He’s really making progress.”

“Hmm,” Thor said, gazing at Loki in utter fondness, touched with respect. “He’s not the only one.”

 

The end :)


End file.
